Gosh... it's year end

Pick myself up PICK MYSELF UP!!!

Wake up early! Go jogging! Develop a healthy routine! (Can I? Am I able to?) Cos have dreamt too much dreams that brings u back to the unnecessary, irretrievable past. I dreamt of him and us all together as a family (once more) It's made me miss him, our once family. It made me yearn but I know I can't and shouldn't reach out. Have not seen him since March. I miss hugging him, having him by my side, cuddling me to sleep, stroking me to soothe my frazzled soul. And now Imma frazzled because of him, isn't that a big irony?

Cant rmb what I've dreamt and prolly I shd stop being so hung up abt ea and every detail of my dream and instead, focus on my REAL life. I am depress, I know it. And I try not to show. I deny it to my superior, my friends and my colleagues. I fake that Imma ok in front of my child and my maid and my family members. Nanny lives too far away from me (no doubt this is Singapore). Am so tired, really. Been forcing myself to go out with friends I knew for the first time and newly acquired friends, cos I know if I dun go out with em, I wont get outta my house at all. Not that my house is that cosy in da first place. it's more of like hole for me to well up. My stuff are getting more and more messy by the day...

*Lethargic* Is there any switch on mah body to flip me on?