Recap On Rainy Days VS Shoes

I wear a size 8.

That is usually the largest lady's shoe size in the shoe departmental stores in Singapore. Seldom do I see a size 9.

I cld wear a size 7 at times, usually in da form of those opened-toes sandals.

Herring styled sandals are not for meh. Cos I hv very broad splay of toes & they simply look unattractive & unlady-like in herring-styled sandals.

Those opened-toes shoes wif just a band of fabric or leather (or watever) across for support are more suited for meh. They kinda bind my wide splay of toes together but I hv a prob wif these too on heels...

Everyone shd somehow know wat heels do to a lady.

They put strain on your spine, force you to stand tall by making you push out your breasts & strut out your butts. And when you walk, an inevitable jiggle that never fails to help brighten up a guy's dull day...

It is often quoted: "The mere sight of a female in high heels often brings joy to boys/men."

=.=''

But though I'm not really plump (I look kinda slim in fact), the reason why I weigh heavier than I look I guess, is due to the density of my bone mass.

And it is this weight plus dat I hv sweaty feet at times dat caused meh da most trouble when wearing opened-toes heels, esp. those wif a mere strap at da front of heel to support your whole foot (& body amazingly).

Last Friday afternoon was a rainy day. I was wearing this pair of platforms & rushing off to fetch my boy fr school. The rain was making my feet slippery & threatening to fling out my shoes as I run/walk. Almost half of the episode dat I was trying to rush, I was almost sure that one of my feet wld SLIP THRU' (literally) that lil wee filmsy pc of strap & BURST da ONLY support dat bound me to da shoe.

I ended up walking more gingerly but less graciously than Sayuri in da "Memoirs of a Geisha"

:S What a horrible feeling but I had to endure this countlessly. How many shoes out there for women are as presentable & convenient as a pair of slip-on platforms/heels? You can't wear slippers for work for god's sake!

And as I tend to break out in sweat for my feet, I would avoid enclosed shoes if I hv the choice to avoid smelly & sore feet at da end of the day.

The best pair of footwear I had was fr my EHTB (ex-husband-to-be in short). It was a pair of sky-blue strapped sandals （wif a slight platform) dat he had bought for me (explanation: he paid but using my money & I was together wif him). Very comfy & yet lady-like. Best of all, simple yet presentable enuff for casual outdoor wear (matches well wif jeans or skirts =) ). Becos it was a pair of REAL sandals (those that strap you ard ur ankles), I cld even run in them safely without fear of re-enacting Cinderella escaping da ballroom scene.

Runner-up for ease & beauty (more sporty-looking than beautiful-looking at all) wld be my Bata pair of black sandals wif elastic straps dat I just managed to wear out early this year (due to me carrying da heavy bag of things in da rain & putting the load on my sandals for support, if not... oh well). Flatted with a rubbery base & in a classic black color. It isn't exactly lady-like at all but it had a nice criss-cross of straps on your foot for design & support, & with the ease of walking it provide & the comfort of it, you cldn't very much ask for anything else. It looks a tad outta place when I wear it wif office pencil-slim skirts & just mgned to make itself insignificant (not out-standing, not smart-looking) enuff under my office pants (well, if da pants is long enuff, else it'll look odd too).

Cos you know... I aint abt to don on wellington boots for rainy days.

Meanwhile, so long if it doesn't rain, this pair of platform shoes dat I hv currently works fine, though I really hate to admit dat I almost trip off them on & off. I am dat much of a clumsy elephant at times...

Clarifications:

Actually... I aint dat much of a shoe gal... (prolly not as much as I wld like to) Usually, I'll stick to da same one pair of shoes for work, for shopping, going to the park ard in ur neighbourhood & even to da market!!! LOL. But I do alternate once in a blue moon according to my mood or when the outfit dat I'll be wearing deems fit (i.e. it simply look too offish to wear da current shoes to go wif dat current outfit). You know, dat Friday when I went to fetch my boy? We went off to eat & there was this book store "POPULAR" nearby. I really had to kick myself for not hving brought enuff money to be able to buy dat Allan & Babara Pease book titled: "Why men have no clues & women need more shoes". In reality, I usually invest in books more than I do in clothes or shoes. Not dat I dun hv any soft spots for prwetty clothes or shoes. It's just dat you only hv one body & cant possibly wear heaps of clothes all at one go! LOL. Well, possibly I m trying to save my money for something else so dat I can live within my budget for da month! Well, do you noe the main reason for my long tress of hair (now pass my shoulder blade & over my breasts)? Bet you would find my reason incredulous. To save money. Oh well, long hair suits me anyway =) Makes heads turn. Distracts those ah pehs fr drinking coffee at da coffee-shop. xD But if I were to go to a salon to trim my hair, it wld usually be a trim right up to slightly above da shoulders; and then I'd let my hair grow all over again. I guess it's abt just the right length & time to do so now... Should I or shd I not? (dun hv any1 special to show off my long hair to anyway)

Happiness In A Nutshell

The question is always:

"What are you doing

with what you have?"

While the answer is "not much",

nothing gets better.

The universe rewards effort,

not excuses

Andrew Matthews

Ups & downs

Despite some broken skin on foot, am still trying to regain composure & get back to my foot... em feet LOL

I tell myself: Gambate!

Off to da park to play sparklers wif my lover boy! Wheeeeeeeeee!!!

p/s: the broken skin is not due to scalding fr steam-boat!!! This prob was gone since Oct 05 but back recently.

在水一方 II

友文：

“.......妳想，小雙，人在生气的时候，什麽话说不出来呢？妳怎麽可以去和生气的人认真？何况，妳是了解我的，妳是全世界最了解我的人。妳明知道，我这些日子身体又不好，脉搏动不动就跳到一百下......”

“瞧，现在又已经一百零五下了。我身体不好，情绪当然受影响。我写不出东西，妳不知道我心里有多急，看到妳和孩子又瘦又小，营养不良，我就觉得自己是个好差劲好差劲的丈夫，我常常整夜自责，自责得通宵不能睡觉。在这种情况下，人的火气难免就旺了一点，火气一旺，说的话就全离了谱了。反正，千言万语，我错了！妳宽宏大量，就不要再计较吧！妳瞧，小雙，当着朱伯伯一家人面前，我向妳认错，这个面子也够大了吧！我这个丈夫，也算是够底声下气了吧！小雙，妳不是不通情达理的人，妳一向最体贴最温柔最善良，就算有时候口齿锋利一些，我知道妳也是无心的，妳也用过最难堪的句子来说我，我还不是都能谅解吗？那麽，妳也谅解我了吧！昨晚，我完全都是鬼迷了心窍，自己都不知道怎麽会做出那麽多错事来！现在，当着妳的面前，我对诗堯，诗卉，雨農统统认个错，好了吧？一天乌云，也该散了，妳也别再打扰朱伯伯一家人了。”

诗卉：

说真话，假若我对盧友文认识少一点，假若不是经过一番亲眼目睹的事实，假若没有昨晚小雙的一篇长篇叙述，我非被盧友文这一篇 ‘自责’ 和 ‘道歉’ 所 ‘说服’ 不可。事实上，即使我知道他的 ‘自责’ 和 ‘道歉’ 都不可靠，我仍然有点心动，总之，人是爱听好话的动物，别人对妳赔不是，说好话，妳就很难继续把脸板下去。

但是，小雙寂然不为所动，一直到盧友文说完，她的脸色变都没有变过一下，这时，她才开口：

“你说完了吗？” 她问。

在水一方

小雙：

“他... 我也不知道。” 她眼底有一丝困惑： “最近总是这样，下了班就很少回来，他说，上班就有朋友，有了朋友就要应酬。”

---

“友文！我没有！我没有，如果我瞧不起你，我就不得好死！友文，我知道你有天才，有雄心，但是，要慢慢来，是不是？罗马也不是一天造成的，是不是？友文，我没有要伤你的心，我不该说那几句话，我不该苛求你...”

---

“你如果真有决心，不要说，只要做！”

---

“婚后，我一心一意扶持他成为大作家，他写不出东西，我帮他找藉口，他沮丧，我鼓励他，他灰心，我给他打气，逐渐的，他怪天怪地怪命运。”

---

“我爱他，我怜惜他，我认为这一切都是过渡时期...”

---

“我认真的考虑了，认真的反省过。我想，他的话也有道理，我一定不是个吸引人的好妻子，才造成这种结果。但是如何去做一个好妻子呀？如何才能栓住丈夫呀？我不懂，我真的不懂。”

---

“你以为我没有尝试离开他吗？我就是泥巴人也有个土性儿呀！我说了，我试过，不敢提离婚，我只说要分居，让他一个人安心写作，他会立刻抱住我，对我痛哭流涕的忏悔，说他写不出东西，心情不好，说他有口无心，说他 ‘鬼谜了心窍’ ，才会得罪我这样 ‘像天使一般的女孩’ ，说我如果离开他，他会伤心而死。于是，我哭了，抱着他的头，我反过来安慰他，发誓不离开他，我原谅他所有的一切。但是，他又开始...”

---

“总记得第一次见到他，他曾如何侃侃而谈...”

---

“现在，我总算有个结论，他不是天才，也不是疯子，不是圣人，也非坏蛋，他只是一个力不从心的可怜人！”

---

“一个女人，当她对她的丈夫失去敬意时，这婚姻就已经不能维持了。”

---

“我已经决定不再同情他，不再原谅他，不再接受他任何的道歉了。”

---

“他折磨我，也折磨他自己。说真话，我同情他，但我再也忍受不下去了。”

---

“他会认为我小题大做，他会告诉你们他多爱我，他会着急，他会忏悔... 但是，如果我真原谅了他，一切会变成恶性循环！最后我仍然是死路一条！”

---

“这样说来，你是爱我的了？只是你不会表现，使我误解。再加上你又容易犯错，所以总弄不对劲，何况，你的写作不顺利，更使你心情恶劣..."

---

“知道吗？友文，如果是这样，就是更大的悲剧。爱而不会爱，比根本不爱更悲哀，我相信你说的也是真心话。”

---

“你知不知道 ‘失败’ 也要尝试过才能叫 ‘失败’ ，根本不工作叫 ‘游所好闲’ ，不叫 ‘失败’ ！”

---

“你躺在床上哼哼唧唧说你生病了！上班不能上，却流连赌场数天数夜！”

---

“我对你的灰心和失望，不在于你穷，你没钱，你没拿到诺贝尔！而在于你的不事振作！”

---

“爱？”小雙轻轻的说，眼光迷迷蒙蒙，像在作梦一样，声音低而清晰：“你怎能随便说爱字？你是如何爱我的？当我在医院里动手术的时候，你在哪里？当我病得快要死去的时候，你在哪里？当冬天的慢慢长夜，我发着抖倚门等待的时候，你在哪里？爱？你怎麽能这样去 ‘爱’ 一个女人？”

我想... 还好我的情况没有小雙来得那麽糟吧!

不过，我他这个人，还是跟不得...

唉!故事不就是如人生吗?

Who is Da Best Caretaker??

Read this from TODAY papers, today of cos! LOL

Page 24 Voices

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
BY ＤＲ JAMES DOBSON

GRANDMA'S OFF HER ROCKER

There was a time when uncles, aunts, brothers, and sisters were available to give parents a helping hand with child-rearing. But more typically today, the extended family is spreaded all over the country and might not even be trusted, anyway.

Even grandparents are sometimes unavailable because they're just as busy as their kids. Let me share a humorous poem with you that describes this situation. I have no idea who wrote this piece, but I think you'll enjoy it. It's called "Where Have All The Grandmas Gone?"

"In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, crochet, tatt, and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always count on Gram, in that day of gracious living, Grandma was the gal for giving. But today she's in the gym, excercising to keep slim. She's off touring with the bunch, or taking clients out to lunch. Going north to ski or curl, all her days are in a whirl. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker!"

Well, now we know why Grandma isn't at home waiting for a call.

But if that's an accurate portrayal of today's family, children are the losers for it. They not only need fathers and mothers who are passionately commited to them, but also the care of other adults who love them like crazy. And grandparents are the most qualified to play that role.

Hmm... How abt my case?
My mother's passed away 10 over years ago.

My mother-in-law is one of a kind.

My step-mother... dun wish to talk abt her. Nvr been ard her much anyway.

My dad? How would he know anything abt taking care of kids? =.=''

My relatives? There is this saying: 远水救不了近火... The most helpful & resourceful ones are all living in Malaysia... maternal side.

Paternal side? They always give me the feeling that so long if it doesn't bother them, it's none of their business. Perhaps it doesn't seem so to my dad or perhaps it's da way dat my dad behaves dat leads me to thinking so... or maybe they aren't dat passionate or wat... or maybe I've got to approach them directly. There's this time I asked a cousin (on da paternal side) for a place to stay when my dad wanted to chase my husband out of da temporary place (within less than 2 days' time) we were staying at (my step-mum's place; my father's then girlfriend) until he cld get a proper house to house me & my baby. That cousin told me it was kinda inconvenient.
Oh well i dunno...

Even da MPs!!! No1 believes the difficulties I've been thru!!! I was holding a 2-weeks-old baby in arms... under 21, hubby a PR. No place to house us??? We were told to approach our parents. Parents?? Had they been dat reliable!!!

In the end when I came out to work, it was nanny who took care of our boy. Sweet nanny oh bless her da nanny. She's even helped us to find another place to rent (not once but twice) after the PRO (<--- u noe wat this means) who seemed to hv a difficult marriage too (she got beaten up by her husband at times) needed us to move. Oh sweet nanny! She's really very zealous into helping ppl. Love ya!!! You may not know this but that's y you are on my list of ppl to repay back kindness shd I hv this chance!

You really can't believe the number of times I've moved ever since I've married him. Yea, not counting the times I had moved when young, during my marriage with him, I've shifted a total of 9 times! And if you include this latest time dat now I've moved to seek refuge at my dad's place, dat would make it a cool 10 times!!! *faint*

Hence for my kid, just before he turned 2, I've been relying on maids to take care of him while I go work up even until now.

And to say truth abt the maid thingy, I was kinda "swindled" into hiring one by my mum-in-law. Cos I nvr tot I wld be able to afford one. My mum-in-law was a full time housewife then. Well, more stories to dat. Wouldn't be able to tell all in a page within a single day...

Luckily as I worked, I gained recognition & my salary increased. But I was forever dumping in $$ for my maid, my child & worst of all, for all da ridiculous expenditure of my husband's dat I can nvr quite explained where fr or understand wat really happened. I wasn't in debt (though he almost landed me in debts a few times; thank god he's not a compulsive gambler!) but I wont ever really hv any excess. Even the savings I had done up for my kid were all squandered by him (I can't hv joint acct wif my boy then T.T, so much inconvenience due to age-discrimination) else I've no choice but to withdraw em due to meeting deadlines of bills. I wont apply for credit cards - is it really all so proud & clever to hv them? I was busy working & he was busy dunno doing wat. I nvr really delved into it cos i was really tired fr work. Until when I make a conscious effort to change my career into something more freelance & possibly bring in more income for me, then I saw right in frt of me all da things I cldnt stand. Bad habits of all of a sloth, undeserving, inconsiderate fella... What ARE you doing in my house!!!? The house dat I had bought (considerable CASH $$ was forked out), when I was below age & had to use HARD CASH to pay da instalments, the town council fees, the PUB bills, house-keeping misc, your ridiculous phone bills too, pay for da maid's salaries & levies, pay for our boy's expenditure & his pre-school education and YOU too??? *Incredulous*

My wish is no less than yours when you sed, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

When the kids were in a jam, they could always count on Gram, in that day of gracious living, Grandma was the gal for giving.

Now who can I count on then?

???

Picking myself up all over again

To-do-List

• Pay my bills

• Have some forms of entertainment dat doesn't amt to escape

• Do da necessary details along e way & things will get fixed gradually...

Stop Supressing Yourself!!!

• Admit it! You HATE working for your dad!!

Unclear instructions, expected duties & definitely less than ideal respect & etiquette.

So I am goin' to admit this & find some ways to go abt this!!! Argghhh!!!

---

• Tell Uncle Aik da truth!!! You are no longer living there!! (else he'll start asking again & AGAIN when I can pass auntie's jewelry to him fr home =.='')

Tell him not to go up to your house cos u aren't living there anymore! And stop pretending you're still living there even though dad's warn you abt telling ur situation to others. Ah Aik is someone close to you & you reserve the rights to disclose watever facts you want, else the truth & hurt'll be killing you inside!

Arggghhh!! Tell da whole world of relatives dat you're gonna go thru divorce!!! T.T

---

• Just make friends & try to know them fr scratch (like starting to fill up a clean, white sheet of paper), with whom you feel comfortable wif & interested talking to for a start =) ~ stop cooping yourself up in a chicken coop :S

• Get in touch wif da top 5 successful ppl ard ur circle!!!

• Break away fr *****. Stop using it as an escape.

Guilty of Lifting & Pasting

Well, some joke articles I saw that are of interest to me & hopefully to you.

They're not mine but hey hey! I'm only helping the jokes to gain fame ok? xD

Here they are:


Monday, February 13, 2006

The Perfect Casual Encounter

It’s been more than a month since your last boyfriend called you. Depressed and lonely, you say to yourself, “Why do I bother?” Then an idea strikes you late one night, while reading the Newspaper Ads. On a lark, you call in an ad on the LA times, just to see what the response would be. You check your email and, to your surprise, realize your mailbox has over 100 responses. After rejecting most of crazies, you find one that actually seems pretty decent. A sexy blend of Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas, he captures your attention. So you email him back, chatting flirtatiously, until you both agree on a time to meet for a drink later this week at a nice bar/restaurant nearby.

The day arrives, and you look fabulous. He is even better looking in person. You hit it off immediately, moving effortlessly through small talk, where you grew up, favorite music and sports, and onto philosophical discussions. He makes you laugh and you flirt shamelessly. You’re tempted to sleep with him, but you’re not sure yet. You want to see how good a kisser he is. Then, you look at your watch and realize that it’s after midnight. He walks you to your car and you stand together talking in the parking lot for another 30 minutes, not wanting the date to end. He leans in and gives you a tender, sweet kiss with no tongue, making you melt. Then he kisses you again and builds up to French kissing. Okay, he’s definitely a good kisser. You embrace tightly, but are still not sure if you should sleep with him. He senses your hesitation, and doesn’t push you for sex.

The next day he calls you and tells you what a wonderful time he had. You go out with him a few more times with him, and spend hot makeout sessions at his place, learning about each other’s bodies. Then, your new love invites you to go away for the weekend at a romantic inn in Napa. Finally, you give in to your overwhelming desire to sleep with him. The sex is mind-blowing and magical, but also tender and sweet. After hours of foreplay and cunnilingus, he enters you powerfully. You lose count of your orgasms and wonder how you could have possibly waited so long. In the soft firelight of your cozy room, he tells you he loves you, and asks you to move in with him. You weep with joy and agree. Six months after you move in together, he proposes. You are ecstatic.

You plan an extravagant wedding with picture-perfect details. You find the perfect wedding dress on sale, and as a result, your whole wedding comes in under budget. You use the extra money to bump up to first-class airfare on your honeymoon in Tahiti. In the bungalow on your wedding night, you hold each other closely. You can’t believe that happiness like this is even possible. “I must be dreaming,” you say to yourself.

And then you wake up, alone in your bed. Your first words of the day echo those you spoke late last night: “Why do I bother?” But you get up, and get online again, hoping for a chance that you might one day have the Perfect Casual Encounter.

You never know.

---

Friday, February 10, 2006

Bitchy, Fickle Chicks ..Read This

If you're into:

- wasting my time,
- sending double-messages,
- whining about never getting what you want from me,
- complaining about my drinking and drug use,
- expecting me to be your mommy and fix your life,
- thinking you're the only thing worthwhile in my life,
- using me to carry your heavy bags of groceries that you feel resentful sharing with me,
- telling me you love me then disappearing without an explanation,
- talking shit about me to my/your/anyone's friends,
- ignoring me in public,
- not introducing me to your family,
- guilting me for spending time with my buddies,
- making me listen to your droll monologues about the unbearably boring things in your head
- thinking I can read your mind when you say nothing is wrong and you're crying and won't look at me,
- forgetting my birthday,
- blaming all of your problems on me
- abusing my dog,
- killing my cat,
- kicking me out of my home when I am disabled and broke,
- being a self-rightous, controlling, spoiled victim/princess,
- leaving me for a man,
- ignoring my safe word,
- thinking yours is the only valid perspective,
- flirting with all my friends and lying about it,
- getting lazy in bed after the first two misleading months of our hot relationship
- stealing the gifts you've given to me after you get mad,
- dressing up to go out with your friends and wearing sweatpants and hairy legs when we have a date,
- constantly chattering just to hear your own irritating voice
- calling me someone else's name........................

You are the one for me...coffee?


Source: Jokes and Funny Stories

Marriage, Sex, Relationships

Yesterday, I lit a shocking pink colored candle in my room. It was one of those candles in engraved glass with those antique-looking metal cover. I had gotten this during my Primary school days. It was my baobei but I had burnt it all in one night. Frangrance filled the air... yea for that one night which lasted till early this morning...





I was smsing a young friend last night. She was telling me she felt like a les when she went hugging all her girlfriends on Valentine's day. Her friends gave her dares somemore. Told her to say "I love you" to me on phone & go propose to 3 girls which includes meh =.='' Well, it's not dat she dislike it anyway... I think she's just enjoying all da attention. But poor gal, I sup this is better than da emptiness she felt when at home. If it's nothing harmful, so be it. =)

Haha, then she asked me, "You wouldn't think I les right? Cos if it were you, you wld also dare to hug right?" Yea... no big deal. It's just hugging. I sup church frds hug ea other as well. Though I dun hv this practice, I dun see how hugging a same gender will turn you into les overnight. I told her, "I still long for guys k? Here I am in this wonderful candle-lit room with no lover to embrace. T.T"

I hvnt told many online frds abt my case. Not many knows dat I've been married. Definitely not this young frd. Not many still would noe that I've been living separately from him since 28 Oct 05. I'm still on contraceptive pills. *luffs* Shd I stop? Afterall, it's sup not to be so good for your womb. But I wonder if I could monitor my menses this way and as wif routine, once it's set, it takes time to adjust if otherwise. I dun want another adjustment to cope wif with my current confusion & determination to get myself on track now. So I guess, I'll still be on da pills. Not dat I wish to hv anything explosive happening wif my husband (or ex-husband-to-be for dat matter) or any other guys. I dun want just any guys. Reading the news or mag, you simply see so many sickening relationships resulting in murders, suicides or heartbreaks. Well, you get more juicy stuffs fr the mag... but I dun see why I shd subject myself to these ill-treatments. If any of those described scenarios in da mag were to happen to me, I wld just leave my man. Though to clear the air here, I'm not leaving my husband due to 3rd party or watever flirtatious behaviour I cldnt condone, it's not due to those. It's another long story dat perhaps I wld update in future. Hmm.. but even if he did, wld I be xtra grieved? In this society now, it's hard to say who wouldn't do anything. If he has this habit of lying, I sup anything else cld go. Update me so dat I wld see more reasons not to hv anything to do wif him (as if current reasons are not enuff =.='')

As I bathe myself yesterday, I looked at my curves in da mirror. Those breasts, those legs... kinda a waste hving em all for myself to enjoy (if it is of any enjoyment at all xD) I still make heads turn but one thing I can't stress enough is dat I am no loose woman. I hvnt been out on any dates. I wasn't prepared to last year. Wld I be changing my mind this year? I hvnt finalize my divorce though. But I see myself opening up more to the idea... yea, just da idea xD, of perhaps making friends & then wld it lead on to another relationship? Isn't this all too soon? Gosh! Anyway, none of this wld happen at all if I go on talking to myself silly here!

Geez, I dunno if this is just hormones or wat but I do miss making out, kissing & all dat hugs. I'd like to feel them all again. But not just wif anybody...

Taste my lips & me
as we smooch
Inhale me
as I feel you
& your intensity...

Into silly poem-making these days :S

Well anyway, if you wanna just do it wif anyone, I guess it's really kinda easy. There r so many horny freaks out there online. Just pass your no to em & the deal's fixed. Else go clubbing & rub against someone & drop da hints. :S Geez, it's really not me... I dun even noe em! LOL. I wasn't even on a date (it's called a catch-up meet) & this colleague dat I met up with was kinda touchy. I nvr replied his sms since rofl.

I had added this link Single In Dallas because that blog really tickles me pink. Dat guy's not into settling down (as yet, or so he proclaims) but he's got all his shots into the process of procreation, wild fantasies & even phone s**! OMG! Fone s**!! I wonder how wld it be like?? But wat if... you get yourself being taped down & blackmailed? Yikes!! Nice insightful blog to read. Guess this opens up a typical brain of how a guy is wired? (wld he think I'm insulting him by saying typical?) I like the way how he blogs so candidly abt wat he thinks & how he feels though.

A Little Bit of Something abt Meh

I do feel horny at times... (yes I do xD) And I'm not one of those girls dat gets jealous if my guy were to turn to look at a head-turner (in fact, I wld most prolly join him as I appreciate female beauty too!) I dun mind playing nurse to my guy (as in u noe... *luffs*) I...

Well, the thing dat irks me most is lying to me. I can't accept that. When I ask a question, I expect a reasonable respond. Don't try to put me off by lying or the best tactic still, no response. I give chances & I do believe things can evolve into something better if we put our hearts in, but that doesn't mean I dun hv my limits & will turn a blind eye forever. I will call things quit just as u least expect it and I hv. Goodbye my dear exhubby-to-be...

Parting Message

And geez, are there any good guys left in this small city at all? Save one for me pls. (do i desire one now? do i? do i?)

"Depth and honesty tend to continue until it is
interrupted by ego or misunderstanding."

Act blur: huh? wat? who? where?

*miserable* I really dunno...

Quoted From "Quoted"

Spotted amg one of da blogs I've read! This is real hilarious & corny!

Valentine's Day Letter

My dearest CJ,

Oh beautiful angel! How I yearn for your velvet touch and how my lips burn for your moist kiss which is sweeter than the nectar which drips from the earth's most beautiful flower.

Should a thousand angels tear out my heart with the forsaken instrument of death, it would still beat for you a million times and call your name in the night. I just cannot explain the passion inside which burns for you.

What human being would not appreciate your gorgeous deep blue eyes. They've always reminded me of electricity and I've often wondered if they can glow in the dark and light up an entire room at night. Maybe one day we can plug the TV into your eye sockets and it will run on the electricity generated by your lovely blue eyes.

I can't remember if I've already told you this but I really do love your smile. Its such a turn on to look at and its one of the many reasons I love being with you my love. Sometimes I wish I could do nothing but stare at your smile all day, but I'm not sure that's a good idea my love, as people will probably think I'm some kind of nut case and I might get taken away by the men in white coats.I wish you the happiest Valentines Day ever, from the deepest depths of my soul which cries tears of blood for your gentle touch, my love. Help me vanquish this burning thirst!

I remain a humble slave to your lustful thoughts!

xoxoxo,

Texas_Ivy10
@}-->---

My expressions --------------------> :O xD

*Well well, if only my love wld write me something like this!! LOL. 'Cept my boy, I dun hv any current squeeze at da moment though. xD

Can't Resist Myself, here I am again...

Took some pictures of my boy today in da wee hrs of morning before he went to school.

Reason?

To finish off dat mini heart-shape cake dat i bought for him on his birthday <3<3<3

Strawberry Heart-shaped Mousse Cake!! Yum Yum!

My boy sticking the "Happy Birthday" sign into da cake with his left hand.

He writes with right hand

but I sup the left-handedness tendency runs in him.

Must hv been corrected by his teachers in school as early as pre-school classes.

He still brushes teeth with his left hand though.

There you go! This is MY KINDA cake! Though a bit small.Ref: 4 posts behind & you'll ustand why.

So happy dat I took down these lovely photos dat I can't wait to post these up! So here they are!!

And I've posted more links to other interesting blogs I've come across (not dat I hv mgned to finish reading all of their blogs hohoho!) They'r really a bunch of cool & funny bloggers out there. Hopefully my blog would be half as entertaining as theirs!

Bought Women's Weekly Mag after months of missing it yesterday; Kym Ng looked really gorgeous in this March issue! Headlines read: SEX & MEN ~ What your husband will never tell you, REAL LIFE SHOCK ~ "My boss confessed he's IN LOVE with me!" etc. Now now, what else could hv caught your attention in da 1st place? *giggles*

Well in case if my blog bores you to tears, try da links dat I've posted up today under Interesting Reads towards your left of this screen.

Cos you noe, I aint abt to accuse anyone of philandering on my blog. It's perfectly justifiable here & just as legal. xD

Though I absolutely hate MCPs, flirtatious guys, promise-breakers, liars, procrastinators... (and da list goes on)

But well, that's another story. I might keep you posted on this thread. Keep checking back (no promises though xD). This blog is still at its infancy stage u noe.

Quoting a frd, "The best has yet to come..."

I Really Gtg...

It's really goodbye for now... yea, for now I guess... until I've made my mark or see some progress.



*Kisses goodbye gently but reluctantly*

bye*

No more Everyday blues, not even Monday blues...

Bye bye da blues!!

I'm going to go get my life! No1 will live it for meh. So perhaps I also wont be updating this recent blog as furiously as you've noticed for the past days (though this is a brand new blog I'm starting. Will blog here in future shd I hv anything to vent or share => ) Hehe. You will realize dat I blog several times a day xD

Yea.. am pouring out my feelings as vehemently as a torrent storm. (like there's no tomorrow; well, no1 dat I noe of will be dat patient, non-judgemental, platonic & quiet enuff to hear me out 'cept my blog) hahaha

Yea... my sweet blog =)

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Do you know ostriches?

They bury their head in sand in times of danger. I'm like dat except dat I know one thing for sure:

I will run, I will hide. But when I can run no more, I will make a conscious decision ~ to turn back and face up to it.

Yea... this has always been meh. I will run & hide no more. I may not be the most courageous person & may be even as slow as a snail, but I noe I hv this quiet determination within me. I've got perserverance. Whether it's inborn or I've picked this quality up along my life doesn't matter. The impt thing is, *confident* I noe dat I outlast in da end. *grin & twitch eyebrows* xD

Hamster Dance

Hamster Obessesion

His little hand at work here

My boy's really sooooooo into hamster.

Luckily these hamsters belong to my brother. Just feed whenever he feels like it loh. xD

Chantily for My Lover Boy! ;p

Cake Chantily

My lover boy's cake xD

See his legs behind da cake?

Yea, my boy is almost nothing short of my lover. xD He calls me sweetheart and gives me kisses in da morning. I really enjoy eating out with him. It's always so bonding. So it's gam-ba-te for mwammy! Gotta go out & earn my dime so dat I can treat him to eat sushi! He likes the cold soba noodles very much & asked me when can we go eat it again. We ate ice-cream yesterday (shared a cone) just after we got his cake fr da mall.

Yesterday we went to buy his bdae cake. He chose this chantily cake (my least fav choice but well it's his bdae...) which cost me a whopping $32 bucks but doesn't taste all dat g8 to meh :S I bought him another small mini heart-shaped strawberry cake (I admit it's my own wanting xD) & got from the service staff 8 candles so dat I can stick one unto this one. Along the way home, it was a starry nite & I contemplate whether to celebrate his bdae using the mini heart-shape cake under the stars wif him alone after his "official celebration" We got home at abt 10pm+. Kinda late & my maid had almost fallen into deep sleep. At 1st I tot of not to disturb my maid but my boy insist on celebrating his birthday wif her. My brothers & maid & I celebrate the bdae for him save my father but my father gave him 2 ang pows.

He's actually got a very nice lunch fr our maid. I took a picture of it too! But cos it's got his name on it so I'm not putting it up for show here LOL. The lunch was very simple - just beehoon. But according to my maid, bee hoon in The Philipines means long life & she's cut out the words "Happy Birthday" & my boy's name using carrots, egg & sausage & placed em decoratively on top of the bee hoon, hence all of us think it's really sweet. I love sweet memories =) I hope my boy will hv lotsa sweet memories for him to savour when he grows up & in times of adversity, he can draw strength fr these sweet memories. That was why I took all the photos fr my house. I was da one who bought the camera, thought of taking pictures at certain milestones, decided when it was time to wash da photos & bothered to arrange all photos nicely in the albums I bought specially for em. And I am absolutely sure I wouldn't LOSE the photos nor wld they be MISPLACED. So why shdnt I be the one to safeguard em?

On Friday, I rmbed I told my boy to call up his dad to ask him whether he wld wanna join in the celebration of his bdae wif us. I went out & I came back & learnt from him dat daddy said he would celebrate his bdae for him after his official bdae. He didnt sms/call me to pester me abt hving this date so dat he cld celebrate his no.1's bdae, which was rather strange. Wild tots: he tot I had someone else in my life due to certain things I wrote hence he felt depressed? He had no $ & wld not wanna look bad in frt of meh? He's finally understood that I was not abt to give him any chances at all? He ... etc etc etc. And so the list goes on...

But he's also kinda sway to say truth (though I had nvr forcefully requested it to be this way; it was da calendar!!) Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year & even our boy's birth date all fall during the weekend times wif meh!! Our verbal agreement - he's sup to hv him during weekdays while I hv him during the weekends. But I might reverse the timetable soon. Our boy's school is simply too far away fr both of us & the school that his daddy had hinted to sign up at thru our boy is also not ideally close enough. Best to be ard my place lah. He's also forgotten to take picture for Owen, pay $$ for misc of school, put on name-tag for him, update the school abt certain issues etc; I'll be more assured of his schooling if he's wif meh. I noe dat he loves our boy a lot but I've never denied him his part. Just dat the daily necessities ~ he's nvr quite come close to realizing we need air & water & food to get by... =.=''

So there again my lover boy! Happy birthday to euu again!! =)

I so sO SO wanna to look forward - Unwritten pages of my life!!!

Darn! Today's my boy's bdae, yet I still feel so down. *shakes self* Gotta go buy him his bdae cake soon. Simplest bdae ever. Just a cake. I'm so sorry my love.

Days of idling are over, no matter how "safe" you feel wallowing in this pathetic situation. You know you can achieve more, c'mon! Carry on like this, your take-for-granted safeness would also become dangerously precarious. Yea... no doubt this is the 1st time (for a year plus oredy =.='') for so many years that u r finally living wat she wrongfully remarked as "Xiaojie life". You've been working so hard, almost overworked & gasping for breathe but she overthrew every efforts as I had it all easy. But who is she anyway? I dun wanna be another her as you've remarked. You dun need 2 mothers anyway & she's a terror, I dun see myself like her at all so "get outta my life" as wat you've sed!!

The anger, humilation, sufferings & injustice I've felt & gone thru'... no one would feel it for meh...

Yea, I've been mourning over the grief of "loss of partner" as wat Lorna sed. Time to wake up & move on. You've long cast in stone you wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

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Unwritten

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, Oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines (yeah yeah)
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way (oh oh)

Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions.

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten...

- Natasha Bedingfield

Floating... navigating still - my new directions... Pressing on ahead in spite of fears & unknowns...

It Must have Been Love - Roxette

It Must have Been Love

Lay a whisper on my pillow,
Leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
There's air of silence in the bedroom
And all around.

Touch me now,
I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love
But it's over now.
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow.
It must have been love
But it's over now.
From the moment we touched
'Til the time had run out.

Make-believing we're together,
That I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside
I've turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm.

And it's a hard winter's day,
I dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now,
It was all that I wanted,
Now I'm living without.
It must have been love
But it's over now,
It's where the water flows,
It's where the wind blows.

It must have been love

But it's over now,

It must have been good

But I lost it somehow

It must have been love

But it's over now

From the moment we touched

'Til the time had run out

It must have been love but it's over now,
It was all that I wanted,
Now I'm living without.
It must have been love
But it's over now,
It's where the water flows,
It's where the wind blows.

Click here for video

- Roxette

I dun wanna look back...

Hey Deidra... I hear ya voice. You're singing:

It's Every Little Things You Do ...

Dreaming of You but I Don't Know.
Listen to Your Heart but I Can't Cry Hard Enough.

I hate indecisiveness but I just can't & I've failed to reach out to you... I've given myself time till valentine's but it seems this is just it.

He loves me, loves me not...

So I m gonna just put everything behind me. There's gotta be More to Life ...

Goodbye. *Officially*

Today is Your Birthday!!

iiiiiii

!!!!!Happy 7th Burfday!!!!!

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p/s: Happy birthday to grandma too. She's 85 this year =)

Happy Birthday My Fav Little Boy!!!

Happy birthday to ya, my lovely baby *muack* <3<3<3

It's tomorrow btw. *luffs*

Deidra...

The start of a brand new blog.

Lemme air out all my frustrations, feelings & thoughts here...

Hehe.