Apathy

Sometimes, I wish very much to slap myself into reality and actions.

What has really got into me? Is it really the house and its feng shui?

In the night, I felt it was a pity to sleep as that wld mark the end of the day altogether and somehow, an auto mechanism within me refuse to allow me rest. Then I wld keep myself occupied until almost day break till which I wld be too tired to wake up in the day. I wld refuse to wake up at all out of exhaustion and perhaps the biggest reason of all, fear. Fear to start a brand new day. I shrink away from the hectic, traumatic day and seek the peace of the night. But this is no decent way to carry on my existence as I tire my own self out amounting not only to nothing, making myself a useless bummer and earning me despise from not only others but myself nonetheless.

I know I need care and concern. Genuine, sincere love. But I know I can't get it at hand.

But I can't let myself get stuck in a vicious cycle nonetheless right?

Why dun you do something?