The Extremist VS Mediocrity

I am an extremist...

Which means, “要嘛，就不做。要做嘛，就要做得最好！”

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I guess I'm a perfectionist in a way.

But which means that when things are not going my way, I get frustrated & 自暴自弃easily...

But of cos, being logically sane & having awareness of ties & conseqences to my family, I dun wallow deep into the mud when I'm down. (i.e, I wont ever get alcoholic, abuse drugs or cheapen my body etc...)

But quoting from Paul G.Quinnett in his book (in Chinese version, translated by 林志欣: “别告诉我你的名字叫自杀”), he said:

"Who says we have to live by the philosophy 'If you aren't performing, you'll have to escape from current situation?'"

"This strips us of the freedom to live as we like. It deprives us to be happy as a normal being. It tells us not to be content with what we are doing currently. It does not allow a student to have a report card with result "C" yet still think he/she had benefited and learnt some valuable lessons in school."

"This 'either this or that', 'it's either black or white', 'either you win or you lose' kind of thinking becomes rather dangerous when we meet up with life's crises. This is because when we become embedded into a fixed thinking pattern, believing there is only one way to go about solving our problems, one way to go on living our lives or that you can be with only that one person or that you can only do one type of job, we keep struggling to keep in line with that vision and hence we deprive ourselves all the rights a living organism deserves on this planet earth and that is - adaptabilty. If we cannot allow ourselves to trip at all along the many pits in our lives, even the tiniest pitfall would be unbearable to us."

Prolly mediocre isn't that bad afterall... though you may feel like you could have done much better & such works digust you. But since your interest & mood isn't there, half a loaf is still better than none. At least it still beats lashing out your frustrations on wat you ought to do & creating a havoc out of your life. Guess we'll need to channel that anger somewhere in order to be more constructive. Prolly stop putting undue pressure on self & just relax that things need not be PERFECT in order for you to deserve CHERISHING your own self...

Snap out of that childhood need for approval! Since your daddy & mummy wouldn't give you the approval that you so badly need, forget it! Being your own "daddy & mummy" in your mind, putting undue pressure & standards you ought to measure up just isn't doing good to your own happiness level. Relax about your own self, BELIEVING you are still worthy & lovable no matter wat. If hankering after your family's love you know very well isn't gonna work out the way you want for you, just let it go...

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Just dun let yourself go. Be it that you are excellent, just above average, mediocre, below average or even worse than below average by whichever's standards, you are one lovable person. Believe that & give yourself the worth even if no one immediate person around you can affirm you on that...