我失恋了。

I got rejected.

Yet funnily, thru the way he approached it, I found out that he wasn't the guy for me afterall.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, for this kinda relationship shall be doomed from the start actually.

Dun think he has this capacity to really ustand me. He needs a simple lady.

I'm too complicated for him. Hell, there are still many things he doesn't know of me yet and I wasn't even the extreme. I hv this gut feeling that he isn't that accepting as he looked on the surface. Maybe he can accept certain things for a friend strictly and perhaps shake his head in secret later on, but definitely not on his significant other. His significant other need not be too glamorous but definitely got to be virtuous, sweet, simple in lifestyle, yet great with words and tots. It's a bit too idealistic actually. But well to ea his own. We are DEFINITELY better off as friends. Hell, why am I analysing for him instead of thinking for myself???!

What about me? What's the ideal guy for me? pft...

I guess, a cross between him and Mr R wld be great. They are perhaps the extreme of wat I want. This guy I'm talking abt right now, simply dun hv the required courage & tolerance level for my kind of relationship. Right, it may be strange to say my kind, but until the point I meet someone with the same goal and mentality as me for a true blue joint r/s whereby we can say for our type of r/s, I'll just hv to stick by my own gauge.

Till then, I'm still snooping around. I'm very glad be it successful or not, that I actually took my 1st step out. I've tried instead of sit around, pondering why and then in future, perhaps tear a tear or two wondering abt the possibility of a r/s btw the two of us. Now that I've actually tried to initiate one, even though I was rejected, I'm glad, cos I've made sure I've no regrets. And even though nothing has taken place yet, I've actually come to learn a lot of things even fr a r/s that hasn't even yet started! And actually got to know that he isn't the one for me! Save myself lots of unwanted pinning away for a guy who isn't suitable for me in the first place. Perhaps it's true wat the horoscope says of me, I fall in and out of love easily. If it's not for me, I wont pine for it unnecessarily. *pats myself on my back* Hey, I'm great! =D

I reminded myself of another friend. Though I shd say, he's been terribily hurt fr his last r/s that he was at the point of suicidal. But what he's said is so so true: Even though I've been hurt, I still believe in looking for my love. I want to try again & believe again!

Gambate bro! And to me too! I still wanna believe too! *wink*